Secrets of Happiness

We are guaranteed the right to the pursuit of happiness, but most of us fall short of attaining this goal because we do not truly understand what we seek. If you want to be more successful in your quest, there are six secrets of happiness that you need to know.

First: You can't get happy and stay happy. Permanent happiness is an unrealistic goal because being in the same emotional state all the time is called "boredom." To experience happiness you need a point of comparison. Knowing that you are happy today means that you had to be unhappy yesterday. Happiness requires the ups and downs of life.

Second: The best way to experience happiness is to live in the present moment. This means to enjoy what you have while you have it. If you're in the midst of your long-awaited trip Paris, France, be in Paris. Don't be off in the future thinking about the next week's trip to Rome, or you will miss Paris. Also, don't dwell on unsolved problems you left back at home. Simply put, don't distract yourself away from the happiness of present experience, or you rob yourself of it.

Third: Know the difference between needs and wants. A "need" is for something essential that we could not do without. A "want," on the other hand, is an embellishment of a need. A want is something we desire but which is not critical to our physical and psychological well-being. We need food, but we may want a seven-course meal. We need shelter, but we may want a condo at the beach. It is important to satisfy our needs and some of our wants and not to get the two confused. Doing so only distracts from happiness.

Fourth: Be kind to other people. Doing something helpful for another person calls upon your inner strengths and virtues and generates a positive emotion. Kindness also focuses your attention away from yourself, and people are happier when they are not self-absorbed.

Fifth: Be forgiving. Forgiveness frees you to recapture the energy that you may be locking up in feelings of sadness and anger or with thoughts of revenge. Let go of the past, and forgiveness puts you back in charge of yourself and empowers you for the enjoyment of life.

Sixth: Practice gratitude. You probably have more to appreciate than you know. Intentionally look for the positive in your life, and you may find many small things to brighten your day, such as a friend's hug, a child's smile, or a stranger's kindness in a crowded checkout line. Learn to be grateful, and you will be happier. If you practice these "secrets" of happiness, the reward may be greater than happiness. You may experience joy. Joy is thought to be deeper and more abiding than happiness. The experience of joy gets us out of ourselves and in contact with something greater than we are. This deeper connection of joy includes but surpasses happiness and can stay with us and sustain us even through the hard times of life.